As with everything I share, please be kind to yourself if this is not something that you had considered or known before.Delight and praise are different.Delight says "You bring joy to my heart"Praise says "I feel joy when you do certain things"Slight variance in the sentence, big variance in the impact.When kids are given praise "you are talented or beautiful or good at sports or smart or a good kid" it links your joy to conditions. And it leads them to feel worried about the normal human moments that don't reflect that praise meaning that they are the opposite. If they fail at a piano recital does that mean they are not talented? Or if they are struggling to get a concept in math, are they not smart?This is especially true for our highly sensitive kids. They naturally feel pressure and over-read expectations from others.So should you never say these things? I don't go that far. I would say, make sure they aren't the primary way you offer your joy and encouragement.Instead light up when they light up. When they show delight, beam up your own light about their light.When they walk in the room, whether they are in a good or bad mood, show them you are glad to be near them.And when they are learning and working towards goals, focus on acknowledging their efforts and the ways they handle mistakes instead of the outcomes.Grit comes from a growth mindset and a growth mindset comes from knowing there are places in the world where we are unconditionally wanted and delighted in.Because sometimes our talents and smarts lead to victories, but other times, life is teaching us and we need to keep trying and learning and not be dismayed when the outcome takes effort.🧑‍🍼If you are a parent and this is new to you, or you're struggling to implement a secure way of relating to your kids, come join us at the Attachment Nerd Membership. Check out the Secure Parent Guide and The Bond Guide: 6 Weeks to a Closer Relationship with your Children. We also have forums for support and encouragement as you work to break generational trauma for your littles and heal yourself in the process.❤️attachmentnerd.com😘😘😘 | Attachment Nerd